And Your Wifey, She Don’t Like Me

Drawings, partners wearing each other’s clothing, open windows in the summer flat.

I’m going to make something about forgetful people soon.  My next project includes sarcasm, bad grunge music, a car trip, and public humiliation.  Hopefully Elephants too.

Jog your memory friends – you’d be surprised what others won’t forget.

Everything You Ever Wanted

Download my thesis, Everything That Never Happened To Me (pdf).

Download the soundtrack, a mix CD I compiled (zip).

Individual tracks:

1. “High School Lover,” Air
2. “1992,” Blur
3. “Fog,” Radiohead
4. “Etched Headplate,” Burial
5. “Day N Nite,” Kid Cudi
6. “I’m Afraid of Japan,” Final Fantasy
7. “Orion,” Rodrigo y Gabriela
8. “Nobody Lost, Nobody Found,” Cut Copy
9. “U Hurt Me,” Burial
10. “Figure 8,” Elliott Smith
11. “Knives Out (feat. Monica Blaire),” Waajeed
12. “Lose Control,” Missy Elliott, feat. Ciara and Fat Man Scoop
13. “Man On The Moon,” Kid Cudi
14. “(Reverse),” Final Fantasy
15. “Waltz in C# Minor, Op. 64. No. 2,” Chopin
16. “Passing Feeling,” Elliott Smith
17. “High & Dry (feat. Bilal),” Pete Kuzma
18. “Sex Born Poison,” Air
19. “Kesson Daslef,” Aphex Twin
20. “You Never Wash Up After Yourself,” Radiohead

Back in Berlin

Here are a bunch of pictures from the host family’s house in Berlin.  The house is located in the Kreuzburg district.

I plan on uploading a pdf version of my thesis here soon.

Implication

A crime has been committed: I stopped writing entirely for nearly three weeks after I returned to Portland.  When I started back up, there were gaps in all my journals and in my thesis.  There was a large period of time in which nothing seemed selfless in telling.  Anyone who would read about me knew about me.  This now also seems a problem with my thesis.  As I often do think to myself, “It’s Time to Lose Your First Person Young Female Narrator Who Is Essentially A  Stand In For Yourself.”  This stopped the journaling and obviously the thesis.  Who am I and who is Oblina?  And more importantly, Who Gives A Shit?

The solution has been pulling away from the self and talking about the people who need to be written about: not me. This has lead to a “we” cropping up.  I have been reading Yiyun Li’s A Thousand Years of Good Prayers and Jean Thompson’s Throws Like A Girl.  The sympathic group, the group implication, the “we did this, but among us, there was one – and let me tell you about him,” story model.

My wikipedia-articles-visited list is a good predictor of what I’ll be writing next.  However, the articles don’t always line up, or only tangentially reveal my state of mind, and don’t accurately help you, the reader, know exactly what bullshittery I am up to next.

In order to get any of you looking forward to what I’ve been writing and how I’ve been editing, please accept the following list of wikipedia articles as a small token – a reminder that I will write here more often and try never to leave again for so long a time.

-Cadaver

-Death

-Hospital

-New York City

-Burn Unit

I also studied all the human hair articles, which are too numerous to post here.

Atlanta

It hasn’t been easy these last 23 hours.  Berlin to Paris to Atlanta, and my next stop will be Portland.  It’s stupid but I just thought of it – convenient, that it’s called Port – land.  Am I ship returning to harbour?  Do I come from somewhere like Portland?  Does that mean I have to come back there no matter what?

I spent the night here while security guards and janitors and late night shop attendants made their rounds, looking for left-behind luggage, mopping up the mobile sidewalks, counting their chicklet gum packets and tampons and sodas before locking their booths.  I converted my last bit of Euros into dollars before everything closed up.  I got in just in time to buy myself some dinner.  Got myself a food court set of california rolls and a pack of oreos with a wordpuzzle magazine to help pass the time. Did three puzzles, ate the sushi, talking online for an hour or so, then fell asleep at my gate.  I woke up and my hand was asleep.  It was 5.50 am, so I wandered to the bathroom and took a fake a shower, just because I felt so gross.

Miss Europe, think I’ve developed some awkward mimetic accent from all the German accents I was around or something.  It’s really strange being able to read everything all of a sudden.

some last pictures -

Short Announcement

I haven’t posted for a while. That’s because I’ve been having a lot of strange thoughts and feelings.  I also haven’t been writing much.  I hope this short video explains things, for now.

Der Morgen Nachher

But last night…

Partir Ou Mourir

Today is the last day of the year.  I am making more postcards.  I am meeting new people.  I will have a resolution by midnight tonight, Berlin time.  Writing for my next project has begun, small progress as it might be.  Tonight my brother and his friends are going to take me out, though I don’t know where (please God, let there be electro, and cute French boys to watch).  We start off drinking some glühwein here at Erik’s apartment.  Then I don’t know where exactly.

Last year my new year’s resolution was to find my brother, and here I am in Berlin.  I did my work.  In case you forgot, or didn’t know, last new year’s was spent at a New York City hipster house party where yours truly shared a giant pink mess of jeger and champagne all over the walls and some coats.  My resolution then was also to forget about Viriginia and that entire mess, or at least write about it and then get over it.  Now I have to come up with something to pacify my nightmares.  When I graduate, when I publish Everything That Never Happened To Me, when I live in Portland and come back with memories from Berlin, then what?

I have a few ideas, specifically from strange dreams I’ve been having.  I have this one dream where I keep cutting my own hair and braiding it, and giving the strands to a blonde boy whose face I cannot see.  He has long blonde hair and birds are always stealing strands of it to build a nest in a nearby apple tree.  The first line that keeps appearing is, When I die – . The setting for my work might be something a bit from a dark fantasy of one’s futue.

Meanwhile, I’ve set up my reservation at Alcatraz near Senefelderplätz, in the general area where my brother lives.  When I went to put in my deposit I met these two nice French boys, one of which immediatley started talking to me about the Silvestern (the new years).  I felt embarassed talking to a French person and letting them know I’m American.  You always think of the French as the latest in fashion and food, maybe a bit stuck up, but face to face you are just struck by how simply a conversation can go.

I leave you with a German song by Stereo Total, “Ich bin der Stricherjunge.”

Speak to you soon, my merry canner friends.  A thousand friendly kisses.

Song of the Day

German Love, by Starfucker.

For Johannes, who spends today at a music technology convention in Alexanderplätz.

Meanwhile, I wander around and continue to draw everything.

Here are some drawings I’ve made so far.

view from Erik's flat

The Bad News and The Bad-Ass News

I missed the Ellen Allien concert.  It ended up being incredibly hard to get to, and didn’t actually start until 2.00 in the morning, and it was an all-night dance party, and my brother was feeling really tired and hadn’t bought the tickets yet.  This probably would have been the coolest music experience of my life.  Also, yesterday I lost my awesome green/yellow hat that all of you hated so much.  That thing was awesome. But.

I found a boy. Redheaded Johannes. Er ist sehr schön, glaube ich. Have some pictures.

German Daywalker.

Guten Morgen

twisted

Hope your holiday breaks are as interesting as my foreign love affair.